The Bespoke Dispatch Cat Bag

Hi, my name is Andrea and I'm a female. But that didn't keep me from subscribing to Bespoke Post's manbox. **I should be doing homework right now, but I found out [after watching the Young & Hungry I missed last night and eating some mac'n cheese, then procrastinating some more with The Muppets and some homemade gin] that my assignment is not due Friday, but Sunday!!**

Last month [the month formally known as August], I signed up for Bespoke Post because I was tired of receiving cheap girl things like necklaces and 50 shades of lip gloss. Plus, Groupon was having a smashingly awesome sale and instead of $45/month, I got three months of boxes for $21/month. They provided a little intro survey, and, in case you were wondering, I don't tend to wear ties, I almost never sport a beard, and baseball hats can die a fiery death what with their not-fitting-large-heads nonsense.

Shall we commenceth with mineth look into the past-eth? That's right, time to jump on the ol' time machine. And by time machine I mean Dropbox to find photos from my phone from last month.

August: Manbag Dispatch

As large as a pizza box, but without any of the mouthwatering marinated artichokes or BBQ chicken, this box arrived on my doorstep one sunny August afternoon, back when the days were hot and the cats were hotter. I was rather excited as I opened it, tossing said pizza box aside and immediately stuffing the new canvas bag with my 13" Yoga Lenovo laptop. It fit, which is good news, considering the bag can fit a 15" laptop. But, I had to check for myself. Science, the joy of experimentation, and all that.

The box also included a set of four notecards. I actually have many [neglected] penpals--three in the US and two in Britain, so these will be of use to me! Now that I've forced myself to sit down and write blog posts [and homework], I so must force myself to write to my frail baroness penpal who whithers away from consumption in her crumbling, ivy covered castle by the rocky shores of... okay that is a bucket of lies. She's just living in a flat somewhere in Britain. A crumbling flat, covered in ivy...

"My Dearest, I write to you this eve to tell you that I hath received new stationery."

My cat liked this box most of all. The prrrroof is in the pudding. Or, in the cat hair coating my lappie bag. I am not wild about the bag, but I still use it. The zipper sticks a lot, and the bag doesn't have as much sturdiness as I would like. However, I do like the leather handles and the inner pockets. I think I can spice this bag up a little by sewing something onto it. Maybe I'll just keep the cat hair on it as a design. I think it says, "She's a professional cat lover, and obviously good at her job." Or so, that's what I am guessing the man behind me in line at Panera thought as I ordered my squash soup yesterday. Fur is very in this season anyway.

I can see Bella getting physically weak as she sits in the sun. Her eyes droop, her body sags, until she can no longer stand and is forced to fall asleep using boxes for pillows.

You would think I would be off to do homework now, but no. I am going to write s'more! I'm on a roll...

Blogging the depths of the abyss, 
[a]

What's This? Another Post? Weird.

This blog shifts a little, sort of like life... it started in college when I was writing mostly silly, humorous posts, then I abandoned it for a bit and started again by sort of trying to review subscription boxes, but I realized I'm way too lazy to keep up with that nonsense. My credit card is far larger than my interest in writing. Or something like that... sigh. Now I'm writing something personal with some other stuff! Yay for evolution. And to think, I was inspired after drinking some boxed "Delicious White" and reading my favorite new blog, Subscriptionista. Strangely enough, I found it when the creator of Eucopia was researching bloggers he should reach out to for his new box, and I was like dude I've never heard of any of these sites but that one site has cats and funny. Plus, while I love My Subscription Addiction, I really don't like how negative some comments get, and Subscriptionista commenters mostly manage to stay humorous. Basically, I want to be their friends [hands a glass of Delicious White to the internet, and invites the ladies outside for scones and sunshine].

Anyhoo, you know that feeling when you're unemployed and yet life still just speeds by and you're like... wtf did I just do with the last many weeks of my life?? and what should do I with this pile of woven wall hangings, half sewn t-shirt rug, clay marbled bowls, and clay beads? I have that feeling almost every summer because I usually work in schools, and, in case you were unawares, non-teachers don't get paid whilst not working over the summer. I generally lay out in the sun, drink a nice hefewizen, and do some crafting or reading between napping with my tiny kitty [see figure 1]. However, for the last year I was finally employed at this job that I semi-loved, but was never confident enough to put it on my Google calendar for more than a month ahead.

Figure 1. Left: Bella thinks she is a parrot and spends much time sleeping on my shoulder/back; Top Right: Bella thinks she is a shirt; Middle Right: Bella hates wearing shirts; Bottom Right: Bella thinks she is more important than my homework.

My office job was somewhat sketchy, and I knew it wouldn't last long, but I was sad when it ended. Some days I felt all Veronica Marsy because I got to go dig through files, research employees, look at Pinterest, and then make phone calls to my associates. Okay, like a really boring Veronica Mars, but whatever. Anyway, a couple of months ago my boss decided to fill my position and the bookkeeper's position one day by just showing up with a new employee. It was awkward and a shitty thing for my boss to do. But, despite being replaced by a sexier older woman, I felt she was very capable and intelligent, and I actually wished we could have worked together.

Finally, I've found a new [and hopefully stable] job. I don't work well with other people, I've realized. I would like to though! I sometimes like people, but from what I've read about people with ADHD is that we sometimes scare people away. RAWR!! So, now I'll basically have 0 coworkers, unless you count when I call one of the four employees to get their timesheets in. However, I'm excited to start, and though it will be similar to what I was doing it sounds like I might also get to do some bathroom/kitchen designing if I want to! And I so want to.

I'm one of those people who wants to be a swing dancer, artist, writer, interior decorator, DIY blogger, standup comedienne, librarian, UX researcher/designer, and in my free time a person who sleeps inside of giant cozy cocoon-esque sweaters* whilst eating warm, buttery pumpkin bread with raisins, sipping on some sort of Bailey's chai cocoa latte concoction, and playing phone Scrabble while watching my favorite show of the moment [ie: Mindy Project, Witches of East End, Young & Hungry, Revenge, etc.]. However, then my anxiety/reality catches up to me and I'm like, yo your joints hurt too quickly to become a dancer, your art is sub-par, your stories generally involve everyone getting killed off because you can't end things, your decorating skills are college-thrift chic at best, you get anxiety-induced memory loss in front of people, and you're not a small blonde mom with time to hot glue amazing things together. BUT! I am getting my Master's in Information Science, which means I can definitely do the UX/librarian thing.

Finally, in addition to trying to get my life back on track by deep cleaning the kitchen at midnight, landing a job, cooking more, crafting more, and turning in homework on time, I would also like to write more. I write and exercise in my daydreams a lot, and if I only do those things for realsies, I'll be grand!

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
[a]

*In case you're like, I totally want to see what that giant cocoon sweater looks like, I actually drew a picture of my dream sweater a couple of years ago while I was substitute teaching. The students had to write some sort of poem, and I did the assignment with them and attached the drawing. Obviously the sweater would have a cup holder, a built in chair back, and a heating system, while still maintaining incredible softness.