Crime Scene Incompetence

In shows like CSI,  Monk, NCIS, Law & Order, Psych, Bones, etc., the cops/investigators always get the killer. This always bothers me, because no matter how perceptive someone is in real life, it's unlikely that they would always catch the person they were after. That's why there are so many unsolved crimes.

This is my proposal for a new crime show:

• An investigator solves around half of the cases he is given. 
• Most of the episodes are left unresolved. 
• Perhaps at the end of each season he would get fired and relocate to a new precinct. 
• That way, each series could have a new title [in the style of CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, CSI: Mobridge, SD].
• This would most likely be a drama so you could feel his pain as his failure increases.

Though, now that I think about it... this show might just be CSI: Mr. Bean.

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
[a]

Transient Library

During a recent excursion to the public library, I noticed the aisles of books were completely devoid of library patrons. The only person who kept trying to squeeze around me, as I texted my friend and judged books by their covers, was a teenager trying to reshelve romance novels and Dan Brown books.

As I looked around, I realized all of the people were sitting at the rows of computers. However, most of these people were loud teenagers and hobos.

I'm not quite sure why hobos were using computers. What are they looking up? Their stock in the housing market? Doubtful.

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
[a]

Morguetin Luther King

If Martin Luther King had worked in a morgue, I bet his famous quote would have been:

"Do not judge by the color of their skin, but by the contents of his stomach."

Stomach contents can tell you a lot about a dead person, but the skin color isn't as important. Unless the cadaver is jaundiced.

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
[a]

Lame TV Show Makeover!

Bored by what was on TV, I decided to revamp the ideas behind several popular reality shows.

$40 a Day
Lame: $40 for one woman to eat out in a day.
Interesting: $40 for a family of 4 to eat out in a day.

Survivor
Lame: Win prizes to survive in the "wilderness."
Interesting: Survive off of minimum wage, no food stamps, and four years of college debt in NYC.

American Idol
Lame: Compete in sing-offs to get a CD contract.
Interesting: Compete in a series of costume contests to see who can best pull off Billy Idol's look.

Criss Angel Mindfreak
Lame: Magic tricks performed right before your eyes.
Interesting: Magic used to bring people back from the dead.

Hell's Kitchen
Lame: A British chef yells at members of cooking teams while they attempt to appease his demands.
Interesting: It's cooking hour with Lucifer! Dishes so spicy they could only be fried by the fires of hell.

Jersey Shore
Lame: Orange "guidos" from the East Coast are stuffed into houses, bars, and cars and get paid large sums of money to scream at each other.
Interesting: Short video clips of the New Jersey shoreline.

Iron Chef
Lame: Two chefs use a specific ingredient to make the tastiest dishes for random judges who wander in off the streets.
Interesting: Two chefs use a specific ingredient and an iron to make the tastiest, flattest dishes for anorexic judges.

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
[a]