June 18, 2009

Craigslist... Platonically Speaking


Everyone's been there. I have. You have. Everyone. Whether it was out of curiosity, boredom, a new apartment, some used socks, whatever. You've looked at it, and don't deny it because your browsing history won't lie to me.

On a recent excursion into the craigy abyss, I recently found some real keepers in the "platonic" section. Let me just share some of them [commentary included for free, of course].

5. I know you took those pictures yourself.
Looking for someone to hang out with this weekend. - m4w - 24 (Sammamish)

Hey, what's up? My name is Michael. I'm a single 24 year old male who currently resides in Sammamish, WA. I just got done with classes at the University of Washington a few days ago. I'm on here looking for someone between the ages of 18 and 25 to hang out with from time to time in the Eastside area (Sammamish, Issaquah, Redmond, Bellevue, Kirkland, Renton, etc). I'm also looking for something to do tonight (no plans at the moment). I'm pretty much up for whatever... movies, bowling, mini-golf, hiking, food, etc. Here are some pics of me. Please include a pic of yourself or a MySpace link when writing me. I like knowing who I'm talking to.

Witty commentary: "Oh hay! I didn't realize... is that a camera? Is this light good? Wow, I didn't know you were taking pictures! Is this pose? How's... how's this pose? Can you see all my sexy features?" *aaaand upload to Craigslist. thanks, webcam! you're the BEST!*
picture: from his posting

4. Hey, at least he's upfront about what he wants...
Seeking WoW nerd, lmao - m4w - 27 (Puyallup)
Do you like WoW, do you got a lev 80? willing to mabe xfer servers to DarkIron? if so get back at me and mabe we can play together and see where things go from there =)

Witty commentary: I'll bring you back to my place and show you my Dark Iron... Heh...
picture: from his posting

3. Don't ever call me. Ever. I bet you never hang up first. Or get non-telemarketing phone calls...
I am bored at work. - m4w - 24 (Edmonds.)

I am bored at work. I really wana talk with some people. I really wana talk with some gurls. I would love to text you or osmething. Please text me when u get a chance two zero six four nine eight - eight three three seven. I would love to talk with you. I am trying to meet some gurls. I really hang out with them

take care

Have a great day

I hope to hear from u soon

Witty commentary: "NO REALLY!! I really like gurls! Gurls are the BESTEST!!!"
Ok bye
See ya
Talk 2 u l8r
have a nice day
love you
I want you in the trunk of my car
I've talked to girls before
no srly!
k bye

2. Ahhh...uuhhh...ummm........ Really?
Threesome with my Realdoll - mw4m

If you don’t know what a Realdoll is, either look it up or you should probably just move on. For those that are aware, I’ll give you the stats on my girl: Gabrielle has a Face 16, Body 5, she is about 4’10”, lighter skin tone, black hair, trimmed pubic hair, and 32 E breasts. She is a hottie in every sense of the word.

If you are serious about this, we would like to hear from you. You must be respectful of both Gabrielle and myself. Neither of us have ever had a threesome before, so this will be new to both of us. Also, she isn’t the most cooperative girl as far as positioning goes – although she is tiny, she is quite heavy. Perhaps with another guy present, it would open up additional possibilities. I’m not as picky as she is, so it would probably help your chances if you addressed your messages to her She would love to hear your basic info and any thoughts/ideas for our threesome. She has several outfits she could wear for us.

Witty commentary: Really? You trimmed it? That's just awkward for everyone... And I think you have multiple personality problems. Or something. Your "RealDoll" isn't actually real... Promises!
picture: from some myspace forum

1. Camping? This sounds like a slasher flick!
lets go camping tonight - m4w - 23 (south snohomish)

lets go camping for the night, i am easy going and have everything we need i figure we will go off i-90 or something near seattle, please be 20-40 and not a twig lol easy to get along with (cute and tall).... there might be cuddling in the tent (body heat) but no more.

pic for pic

Witty commentary: Ahhh... I don't really think I need to be murdered tonight. Thanks for the offer though! "go off i-90 'or something'..." those sound like murder words to me!!! Body heat!? Because he's going to kill you and wear your skin to prom!
ps: Thanks for sending a picture of the woods you plan to kill me in! It'll really help my family when they're looking for the body!
picture: from his posting... it was of trees

Blogging the depths of the abyss,

No comments:

Post a Comment

I like the way you think.