Garfunkel and Oates

Stumbled across a new [to me] duo called Garfunkel and Oates, or Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci. These girls are so fabulous! Their lyrics are pretty funny!

F**k You


Pregnant Women are Smug [a personal favorite]


Me, You, and Steve awkward dates!


Present Face ohhh... thanks for that...


Worst Song Medley haha! this is so great :)


Blogging the depths of the abyss,
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Paul's Going to Kill You at Roulette

Most people hate spam, and generally I do as well but I frequently utilize my Gmail option of previewing the first line of an email so that I can see what some of the spam says. I've gotten some really great spam messages; my favorites generally have lots of random words. I haven't gotten any of those lately, but I have gotten two messages from Paul.

I know that Paul asked me not to share, but I think this spam is an opportunity you cannot pass up [plus, I think everyone should become roulette experts!].

from: paul
reply-to: andrewlr@homsonline.com
to: ruidonegro@gmail.com
date: Mon, Jul 27, 2009 at 11:28 PM
subject: Re: sending it

yo mate, ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll fuckin kill you :)
you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black and it goes black you win $1 but
if it goes red you loose your $1.
So I found a way you can win everytime:

bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

now again bet $1 on black, if it goes red bet $3 on black, if it goes red again bet $8 on black,
if red again bet $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple you previous lost bet around 2.5)
if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

$1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 So you just won $20 :)

now when you won you start with $1 on blacks again etc etc. its always bound to go black
eventually (it`s 50/50) so that way you eventually always win. But there`s a catch. If you
start winning too much (like $1000 a day) casino will finally notice something and can ban
you. I was banned once on royal casino. So don`t be too greedy and don`t win more then $200
a day and you can do it for years. I think bigger casinos know that trick so I play for real
money on smaller ones, right now I play on lucky jackpot casino: goldenslotcasino.net for more
then 3 months, I win $50-$200 a day and my account still works. You`ll find roulette there when you log in go to
"specialty games" - "american roulette". And don`t you dare talling about it anyone else,
if too many people knows about it casinos will finally found a way to block that trick. If
you have any questions just drop me a line here or on skype.

c ya


> Hi paul.
>
> Please tell me when you will send me your roulette trick?
> You promised you`ll send it few weeks ago :(
>
> Thanks in advance.

Andrea Bocelli... King of Vanity?

I cannot lie to you... I always thought Andrea Bocelli was some sort of egotistical narcissist.

Let me explain.

It's just that he's got this far-off stare he does on all of his album covers.

It was only a few years ago, after purchasing one of his CDs [of which I may or may not have told iTunes to not play because, turns out I don't like his music], that I found out the guy is blind. I think it was probably because I saw someone leading him onto a stage, and I figured most grown men don't need some other man to lead them around.

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
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ps: Dear reader, let's be honest... I only purchased his CD because he had the same name as me.

Things Your Ears Should Hear

Here's a prezzie for you... Some of my favorite songs and music videos compiled in a listy! Double cool with knobs!! They're not in any particular order. Some of them disallowed embedding, so there are instead links to the youtube video.

Bat for Lashes--What's a Girl to Do?

Chairlift--Bruises

Mika--Happy Ending

Yelle--A Cause des Garçons [TEPR Remix]

Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse--Valerie

The Blow--True Affection



Lykke Li--Little Bit


Passion Pit--Sleepyhead


Fettes Brot--Erdbeben


Lützenkirchen--3 Tage Wach


Modern Skirts--Pasadena


Röyksopp--What Else is There?


Feist--My Moon, My Man [Boys Noise Remix]


Lady Gaga--Love Game [VJ Dezlenguado Space Cowboy Remix]


La Roux--Armour Love


Okay, I'll end that list with 15 songs. I hope [all two of] you enjoy!!

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Mmm... Babies!

During a recent conversation about the deliciousness of babies and mankind, we compared the babies to eating eggs and didn't know which was worse: eating what was [a baby] or what could have been [an egg would have been a chick].



"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout."
--Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

"Well, I only like one kind of egg so I guess I'd probably rather eat babies."
--Emily

Blogging the depths of the abyss,
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McDonald's Goes for the Gold and Fails!

On a recent camping trip we decided to stop by McDonald's on our way out of town. Before we threw the bag away I noticed that the bag read, "Why are our fries the gold standard? Because only a select number of potato varieties make the cut."

Uhm... I'm not sure what kind of potatoes McDonald's is using, but they must be working on a small budget and allowing a toungueless blind person to select their potatoes and taste-test the fries.



I've never heard anyone say they wanted to eat at McDonald's for the fries. They're so small and disgusting! Why settle for greasy cardboard when you can get golden crispy fries from Burger King or delicious curly fries from Arby's? Or perhaps you should just get a salad.

Dear McDonald's,
If you insist on calling your fries the "gold standard," then moldy bread is the platinum standard.
Considerately Yours,
Not a fan of your fries

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