January 29, 2015

Work Hard, Smile, Repeat

Job Hunting

Those have been my two least favorite words since... forever. I'm picky. I'm not good at anything STEM related, so I can't find one of those jobs where I get to quietly research and type stuff by myself. I get distracted easily, and like wandering off. I don't really pay attention to people when they're telling me directions, and often have to ask for a repeat 2-4 times. Basically I have ADHD and no one believes me because I'm not an 8 year old boy. None of those are things I can tell perspective employers while I am replying to the silly "Strengths/Weaknesses" question.

While job hunting, I noticed that I would roll my eyes or groan while reading job descriptions. So, I thought I would just share a few phrases that make me cringe when I am looking at jobs:

  • "10 or more years of experience" 
    • I am barely old enough to have that much experience in anything. I call age discrimination!
  • "Are you passionate about customer service?" 
    • No... no one is. They're lying if they say they are. We just want a job, please and thanks!
  • "Four-year college degree or 15 years of proven successful business experience." 
    • I mean, I may have gotten a C in Prob and Stats, but that's not even close to equivalent.
  • "Design and maintain systems to ensure Executive Director works as effectively and efficiently as possible"
    • My response to said director: "Hey, I brought you a capybarra and a lime popsicle! But first, you have to complete the labyrinth I tossed your paycheck into. Work HARDER or Hoggle will pee on you!"

Blogging the depths of the abyss,


  1. The best are the unpaid "internships". The ones where they try to tell you that you're very lucky if you're chosen, as you'll get a lot of "experience" and learn a wealth of "skills" that will prepare you for the "work force" and "life."

    1. How funny, before you posted that I was trying to think what the Will Smith Happiness movie was called.


I like the way you think.