January 29, 2015

Work Hard, Smile, Repeat

Job Hunting

Those have been my two least favorite words since... forever. I'm picky. I'm not good at anything STEM related, so I can't find one of those jobs where I get to quietly research and type stuff by myself. I get distracted easily, and like wandering off. I don't really pay attention to people when they're telling me directions, and often have to ask for a repeat 2-4 times. Basically I have ADHD and no one believes me because I'm not an 8 year old boy. None of those are things I can tell perspective employers while I am replying to the silly "Strengths/Weaknesses" question.

While job hunting, I noticed that I would roll my eyes or groan while reading job descriptions. So, I thought I would just share a few phrases that make me cringe when I am looking at jobs:

  • "10 or more years of experience" 
    • I am barely old enough to have that much experience in anything. I call age discrimination!
  • "Are you passionate about customer service?" 
    • No... no one is. They're lying if they say they are. We just want a job, please and thanks!
  • "Four-year college degree or 15 years of proven successful business experience." 
    • I mean, I may have gotten a C in Prob and Stats, but that's not even close to equivalent.
  • "Design and maintain systems to ensure Executive Director works as effectively and efficiently as possible"
    • My response to said director: "Hey, I brought you a capybarra and a lime popsicle! But first, you have to complete the labyrinth I tossed your paycheck into. Work HARDER or Hoggle will pee on you!"


Blogging the depths of the abyss,
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2 comments:

  1. The best are the unpaid "internships". The ones where they try to tell you that you're very lucky if you're chosen, as you'll get a lot of "experience" and learn a wealth of "skills" that will prepare you for the "work force" and "life."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How funny, before you posted that I was trying to think what the Will Smith Happiness movie was called.

      Delete

I like the way you think.